Reborn as Reborn!
by CallMeCrazy4You
Summary: In which a hyper, preteen, fanboy accidently hijacks Reborn's body after an operation gone wrong. Believing it all to be a dream, he decides to make the most of it as Reborn, the world's greatest hitman. The mafia world better watch out because a child with Reborn's hitman skills can only equal ten times more chaos. Starting with teaching *cough* torturing poor Dino. OC SI Reborn.
1. Scaring Shamal

A/N: I was too lazy (and it was too long) to update _I'm Not Don!_ so I did this instead.

This gives a taste for Humor ahead in it so I suggest you check it out~

Plus I had an epiphany: Hey does Reborn have (m)any Self inserts?! And low and behold this was born! From my collection of short series of Self inserts. I might continue if there is interest, follows review etc. Personally I may just continue this one on my own because it was hilarious to write.

Warning: A lot of Destruction. Occ Reborn. Parody and Cracky craziness.

Subject: A young fanboy of KHR who thinks everything is just to cool! Where Reborn literally become a kid again in both mind and body. I don't own Katyeko Hitman Reborn

_Flashback_

'_Thoughts'_

* * *

Reborn as Reborn!

Victim 1: Scaring Shamal

It's not always easy being a kid, but I bet it's even harder being an adult.

Julie, age 11

In an obscure town, in an expensive hotel there was maniacal laughter, perfume, broken glass, dented walls and bullet holes littering the walls. To put it plainly total and utter destruction.

In the middle of this was a young barely 3 child. Oh and a doctor cowering behind the couch for his life.

This doctor's name was Shamal. A rather prominent mafia doctor in fact who's mafia nickname was Trident Shamal.

The esteemed man at this moment was cowering behind the rather nice and expensive couch while mourning why had he chosen such nice place to perform the operation on?

How had a mafia member ended up cowering behind the couch because of a destructive three year old child? Let's go back to a couple of hours ago...

_Flashback_

"_You had a woman over here" said an unimpressed Reborn in baby form. When Shamal shot him question looked that screamed "How did you know?" _

_Reborn gave the look and tipped his hat over his eyes "I can read minds" _

"_Uh ah of...course" squeaked Shamal as he nervously waved Reborn over to the kitchen table to sit._

"_That and the woman's perfume is stinking up the whole room" pointed out Reborn blandly as he hopped onto one of the kitchen chairs and Shamal choked midway while he prepared the medication to erase Reborn's memory. _

_After he had recovered Shamal came over needle in hand "Are you sure? After this Reborn you know all your memories will be erased and the results are unknown" forewarned Shamal _

"_Just do it. I have a job lined up" curtly replied the strongest Arcobaleno wishing to get this over with, so he wouldn't have to bear the humiliation of being an adult in a kids body._

_Shamal nodded, gulped, and administered the memory wiping drug. It made Reborn blink drowsily before falling asleep a spit bubble growing and shrinking from his mouth._

_Shamal put him into the hotel bed before making a couple calls to his lady friends and flirting over the phone. He sadly couldn't leave until Reborn had woken up, given him the rundown as a amnesiac man in a baby's body, and given him his job information._

_Flashback End_

That was the last time Shamal saw Reborn calm, in control, mature and overall like a grownup. _'Had he done something wrong and was Reborn now reverted to the mentality of child by wiping his memories?'_

It sure seemed like it. The reality was yes and no. Though Shamal, poor soul would never know that.

Skip now to another world. There is your generic barely a teenager boy who loves action anime, sweets and gaming. A kid still high on life, sweets,and the unflappable notion that: '_Hey I'm a kid I can't die_!'

Except that he did. Not that he ever realized (but that is irrelevant at the moment).

Now imagine this boy in a adult's body.

Now imagine this boy reborn as The Reborn. Originally an adult shrunk into a baby's body. Now presto! It's a preteen kid in overpowered baby's body!

In fact the World's Greatest Hit man's body. Starting to makes sense now?

Well as what can be imagined that is Shamal got: A hyper bouncing off the wall

kid in the worlds great hit man's baby body.

"This is worse than when I was training Gokudera" bemoaned Shamal watching as Reborn jumped around like a hyper dog breaking and ripping up stuff because he simply could, but unable to do much because Reborn was that scary.

He was the world greatest hit man. The world greatest hit man who seemed to leave behind all his rationality and common sense. Now, acting like the child he appeared to be.

Let us all take brief moment to mourn for the world future and our own sanity. Like how Shamal was doing right "STOP! I don't have enough on me to pay for the damages and my date!" with anime tears dripping off his face in the most manly way.

No use. The kid was on perpetual high from finding out. "HAha take that I'm the strongest!" and "Awesome I'm in Reborn's body!" and "I wonder how many things can I smash before I get tired of it?!" accompanied by menacing cackles.

Then as he was about to throw Reborn's now his hat in the air cowboy style he proceeded to find Leon clinging his hat.

"AWESOME IT"S LEON!" who he proceed to pick up and turn into multiple shapes and weapons, because he could and started smashing and shooting stuff like there was no tomorrow.

This was all accompanied by what he deemed was awesome sound effects "POW POW!"

Shamal paled in terror at the sight while dodging the debris and bullets. If Reborn could do that much without Leon- because yes he had already broken 4 windows, thrown a table and 5 chairs out he windows, ripped up the carpet and then smashed 34 plates and much much more before.

"Stop! Reborn ...I ...I.."desperately Shamal picked up the manila folder that sane Reborn had given him to give to amnesiac Reborn "I have a job for you! and need to tell you some things"

"A job?! Lemme see! Is it awesome? I know it is!" Poor Shamal was now bombarded with questions every second by Reborn who had previously acted like he had not existed.

Thus Shamal was stuck reiterating Reborn's life to Reborn himself complete with 'awesome sound effects' and storytelling gestures . (He missed his date, by the way which he mourned later with chocolate ice cream and bad girly soap operas.)

"So what's my job?" asked pumped up and amnesiac Reborn. Who had slid the paper out of Shamal's hand without him noticing.

"Hey Reborn?!" Squawked Shamal in surprise before muttering "Well, at least you retained your hit man skills for better or worse" at this he paled at the sight of the destroyed room the numbers for damage adding up in his mind.

Reborn's excited expression was replaced with a gloomy one as he saw the assignment printed in clear black type "Aww tutoring!" whined the new Reborn kicking the floor in disgruntlement "I don't want to go to school!"

"It's for the up and coming mafia boss, Dino Cavallonne of the Cavallonne family" explained Shamal hurriedly, because other Reborn would not be happy if present him denied it.

"Dino Cavallone?" Interest peaked and a smile began to spread as the kid's mind in the baby's body began to whir.

Now let us cry for the poor soon to be student(s) of the now preteen hyper action loving kid in a baby's body, that can now actually pull off those great , jaw dropping, and fear inducing feats of power and strength.

"Plus" added Shamal in uneasy attempt at comfort, because Reborn's face really did look like a kid who had missed out on ice cream "You have plenty of time in between to do other stuff" not seeing Reborn's slowly spreading maniacal smile.

"I know, I could take over the world!"

Yes let us all mourn.

* * *

A/N: I'll have you know I was smiling maniacally while typing this. I hope you all had fun reading this as I did writing it too. :D . I appreciate any Reviews, Follows and favs~

It will encourage me to continue writing this while keeping up with my other **I'm Not Don!** Fic. Plus it gives you a taste for the comedy ahead I'm intending for it!.

Hyper reborn preteen kid+ baby's lack of inhibition + adults knowledge/power= What do you think~?


	2. The Clumsy Cavallone

_Flashback_

'_Thoughts'_

*Sounds*

* * *

Victim 2: The Clumsy Cavallone

Lesson 1 Beginning the Basics

When teacher's get old like over fifty five, they're always in a bad mood.

-Lindsey, Age 8

_'Who would want to be teacher?'_

Honesty. Who would want to be teacher? He didn't to be one as matter of personal opinion.

From Neo-Reborn's prior experience and memories teachers were paid terribly, and disrespected, except for few and only if there were deemed cool. _'The ones called cool then tried to act like kids when they were what sixty?'_

However as Reborn he had to be a teacher. A mafia tutor. plus He had to actually teach and do it awesomely at that. After all he couldn't ruin the reputation of the worlds greatest hitman. However there was one problem, How did one teach in a mafia like manner?

Thus he decided to investigate starting with the mafia school Dino went to. It wasn't stalking. It was research!

Neo-Reborn had guessed Mafia people had a ton of money. He knew it would be posh. However he did not expect the mansion towering above him with sparkly and bright decor almost bordering on girly.

"Whats up with the cinderella Castle?" grumbled Reborn severely disappointed by the cotton candy cheeriness of the prestigious mafia school. He was expecting at most something like a dungeon with a gloomy interior and awesome booming thunderclouds.

After all this was the mafia they were talking about. Right?

Back to the point the huge school was uber fancy. The school even had gold details and marble were even tons of expensive trinkets lining the hallways screaming if you break me you'll be a thousand year old debt.

He watched as preppy kids were escorted in by limo. Then he watched bored through the gilt windows of the preppy Mafia school as the kids began lessons.

Honesty the classes were rather boring expect for the specialized ones on espionage, fighting and target practice. Oh, and watching as Dino got bullied and tripped as soon as his bodyguards disappeared. That would have to change. However watching this Neo Reborn guessed that rich school didn't differ that much from regular ones after all.

_'That kid probably never had to clean in his life.'_ thought Reborn ruefully while remembering the unpleasant chores he had to do as a kid. After all the whole day he had watched as the kids were practically served hand and foot by their bodyguards and servants.

At this thought an idea struck him. He sat up from the tree branch where he was disguised as a bird. 'Well that was about to change. Dino Cavallone, it's time for lesson number one' Reborn smirked after finally coming to a conclusion of how to first teach Dino Cavallone.

But first introductions.

* * *

-Skippy! To -

Like always the Cavallone was getting ready for peaceful relaxing weekend when he woke up. One free from the bullies who plagued him and safe from the hazards of his own clumsiness from being far from his subordinates.

Where were his subordinates by the way? He hadn't seen one all day. Thus it was bad day. He had tripped more than ten times mostly because he was unable to tire his shoelaces correctly. He had broken an expensive vase again, which normal in the Cavollone household except that usually a servant caught it before hitting the ground and breaking.

At this head seemed to pop out of nowhere. "Whaaaat how can you not tie your shoes?"asked a incredulous Neo-reborn hanging from ceiling vent after watching Dino Cavallone fail to do so several times, break ten vases, 15 priceless trinkets and deface an ancestors portrait accidentally.

I could do that when I was two!" said Neo Reborn sounding proud of his achievement trumping Dino's.

'What that's not an achievement he looks two!' was Dino's first startled thought before his mind caught up to the shock it was experiencing. 'More importantly -"What's kid doing there!" Dino's wide eyed watched as Neo reborn balanced precariously on the vent before falling read actually jumping on top of the hapless Dino. "UMPH!"

"Good catch" snickered Reborn as he stepped off Dino the unfortunate human doormat.

"How did you get in? Are you a kid of one of the staff?" asked Dino rubbing his nose with pained groan. Was it broken? It shouldn't be since it was just kid but still it hurts a lot more than he though it would.

"No I'm extraterrestrial alien come to enslave you all." stated neo-Reborn blandly being sarcastic... there was silence as Dino's eye widened in surprise "YOU ARE?!"

_'He believed him?!_' Reborn's first thought was as his eye twitched. "No. I'm not. As awesome as that would be. Also I'm not part of Cavallone famiglia" cooly stated kid Reborn trying to play it cool. "I'm your home Tutor actually"

"You?" said Dino incredulous before bursting into laughter.

At this Reborn jumped up and smacked him on the head followed by a question. "Have you ever heard of Reborn?"

"Of course I have! I'm not that stupid. Reborn, The greatest hit man who took down several small famiglia and is often employed under Vongola...wait don't tell me" Dino paused in reciting the near textbook definition to scrutinize baby Reborn seriously before settling for a "...nah no way!"

"Yes. Yes way!" insisted neo-Reborn hand on hips trying to stare Dino down in attempt to intimidate him into respecting him that clearly did not work.

"Nice trick kid." said Dino leaning down to pat his head and gave good natured laugh "but really you had me there for bit"

This warranted another smack from Reborn along with Reborn grabbing Dino's wrist before he could touch him. Neo-Reborn did not like having his hair ruffled and Reborn did not like having his hat taken off or moved without his permission . Wordlessly with his other free hand he shoved the job contract in the boy's face.

Dino Cavallone gawked at the piece of paper then looked at Reborn agin "Wow those are good. Who faked the-"

At this both Reborn's and mental kid Reborn would have agreed that twisting Dino's arm the wrong way behind his back in vindictive annoyance was totally justified. How dare he think Reborn was a fake! (Even if it was partially true).

"Ow! Ow! You're Reborn I get it! I give!" cried Dino as Reborn finally let him go and the Cavallone heir started to cradle his slightly strained arm while looking warily at the kid with new eyes.

"Your Father explicitly stated I could use any and all means to train you" Reborn couldn't help the sly smile that spread across his face as his mind began to whir with what he could do...

Seeing Dino's speechless shocked and pale face Reborn took the contract and began to summarize it "bla bla bla get to do whatever bla bla train Dino bla bla heir bla bla torture bla bla payment bla bla. So to sum it up I'm your new home tutor hired by your father"

"That can't be" was all Dino could say still in shock and dawning horror.

"and for how I got in..." Reborn ignored him and instead gestured to a seemly empty hallway . Dino hesitantly went down. He followed anticipating of Dino' s reaction. He was not disappointed.

"What the- Romario! Helga! James!" cried out a shocked Dino arms waving around in distress as said people and then some were plastered to the wall with some suspicious looking goo identified as "Sticky putty?" which he touched getting his hand stuck to wall as well.

"You shouldn't have done that." stated Reborn blandly with barely hidden amusement as he started to snicker "You're stupider than I thought"

"I'm not stupid!" protested Dino. He pulled in vain to free his arm "Ack What is!?"As soon as he pulled his arm was snapped back like rubber band back in place against the wall.

"OWW..." whined Dino in pain as Reborn rolled his eyes. Really it should only feel like a snap from a rubber band. On his entire arm. Against the wall. Okay maybe it did hurt a lot, but Dino was in the mafia so there would be a lot more pain in his future (most

courtesy of Reborn, but Dino didn't need to know that)

"Secret~" Neo- Reborn smiled glad to have had an opportunity to test out his homemade invention : Ten times stronger super glue.

"How am I supposed to get out?" cried Dino panicked struggling in the gelatinous gunk.

"Use your head for once. That's your first task as boss" said Reborn deciding to be 'nice' and throw him cleaning supplies, a shovel, and an ice pick.

"OW!" Dino's head got bonked by said items instead of catching them "Wait your not going to help?! I don't know how to clean! I'll probably make bigger mess!" panicked Dino as he started waving his free hand about wildly.

"You better get them out soon or else the stuff will dry and they'll be stuck there forever" 'helpfully' warned Reborn already turning to leave.

"EH? what about the cleaning crew?!"Then paused saw where Reborn was pointing at the cleaning crew who had also becoming hapless victims to the wall.

" Hello young master" weakly said one raising a hand in greeting only for it to snap back in place by the gunk.

"Good Morning Young master!" chorused the three maids who settled for nodding their heads in greeting.

"Oh um hello. Greta, Helga, Nettle!" cheerfully greeted Dino instinctively before remembering what situation they were in. He snapped his head up to look for Reborn who was nowhere in sight.

"AH DON"T GO!" cried Dino as Reborn started to do just that while he was distracted.

Reborn had plans after all. Very important plans. Plans that first involved raiding the fridge per directions from very helpful kitchen maid, who he had asked (actually interrogated but meh. Details.)

He was growing boy err baby (Or adult?) now and he needed some food for thought to think up ways to train Dino into being high quality mafia material.

From what he remembered there were a lot of animals involved...

Man did rich people have good pudding mused Reborn after consuming several quarts of the stuff and pretty much emptying the fridge to feed his newly made pet.

* * *

Dino staggered into the kitchen tired, worn out from scraping out every lats one of his subordinates for the gunk. It took hours and a lot of creativity even with the provided cleaning supplies, shovel and ice pick.

Now he was bone tired , his head hurt form the many suggestions form subordinates, and most importantly he was hungry.

*grrrrr* so hungry...his stomach was rumbling.

Entering his pointlessly large kitchen in the mansion his stomach growled again a bit louder this time. He collapsed heavily onto the ground and saw two black shoes. The Chef?

*Grrrrrrr*

When he looked up he was met not by the chef but by Reborn just finishing his thirteenth pudding cup.

"WHAT are you still doing here!?" cried Dino on edge since the last times he met Reborn he had hit him and fell into a trap.

Instead of answering him Reborn handed him a steak of meat. At first Dino thought is was some sort of peace offering so he took it. Then after taking it he saw what it was raw meat. Dino face fell at the sight as his stomach growled louder.

*GRRRRR*

Actually that was bit too loud to be his stomach he realized. Also was it just him but did the meat smell really really bad? Plus there was something wet dripping onto his face. He looked up to find the source and paled rapidly as he came face to face with-

*ROAR* Sharp teeth. A lolling pink tongue. Extremely bad breath. An orange mane. A lion? He blinked taking moment to register the unexpected site. Deep breath. Blink. Still there. The lion's eyes fixated on him predatorily as it crouched to pounce.

"A LIIIIIOOON! " screamed Dino at pitch not known possible to man as he reached the woman un-human levels of a banshee screech. It proved a good temporary deterrent as the big cat flinched before springing just missing Dino who got up in time to be missed by a hairs length.

"Fight for your meal like a man!" encouraged Neo- Reborn his hand in a fist pumping the air if cheering for a football game instead of a terrified Dino facing off a lion for his food.

"WHAT DO I DO?!" Screamed Dino as his fear and adrenaline only allowed him to run from the fearsome beast.

"Fight the lion like the romans did in the colosseum!" not so helpfully Reborn suggested.

"They all died!" cried Dino pointing out Reborn's flaw in his logic. He then revealed his own humiliating reason "A-and I don't know how to fight!" stuttered Dino as he when he was finally overtaken by the Lion.

"Huh?! But you grew up in a mafia family!" Neo-Reborn had honestly assumed Dino had some fighting skills. Guess he was wrong. Seems like he had to start from scratch then. What a pain, but that was why Reborn was here.

"Fine" he huffed in annoyance as Dino started to whimper as the Lion cornered him against the wall "Do it the boring way then and throw it" recommended Reborn very disappointed at not getting to see an awesome action packed fight as planned.

"AHHHHH!" Screamed Dino not hearing it immediately as he was still being chased around the room steak still in hand by the equally hungry carnivorous creature. Reborn watched amused as he ate his ready made popcorn prepared just for this moment.

Finally after a while of running about Dino threw the steak finally remembering that what the Lion wanted. He then put up his hands to defend his face in a futile attempt to defend himself when the lion roared.

However after seeing the steak sail to the other side of the room it then acted like common house cat as it stalked away before it pounced on its meal and ripping it to shreds. Dino paled unable to keep form imagining that the now mangled piece of steak could have been him.

"Good lesson you learned the basics of self defense and running away. Though you needed my help" complimented Neo-Reborn before placing a cup in Dino's upheld hands in defense.

At Dino's dazed and totally out of it now that I'm safe stare Reborn named the object put into his hands "Pudding cup"

Oh thanks mutely replied Dino still in shock as he began to peeling back

"It's empty" noted Dino hollowly his soul seeming to leave his body after all he had been through.

"I'm not your servant. I gave it to you to throw out explained Reborn who then seeing Dino's near passed out expression took 'pity' and continued by saying "Theres a cup in the fridge"

And lo and behold when Dino opened the the refrigerator door. There was one cup of left for him. A cup of jello.

"Where is all the food?" forlornly said Dino and the verge of collapsing as the jello eerily started resembling the gel he took hours to dig up his staff from in his food deprived mind.

"Oh I fed the Lion most of the food to keep it happy" casually reported Reborn as Dino began to tear up.

"If I was Teacher I wouldn't do this to student!" cried the Cavallone in dismay as he sniffled while resigning to eating his jello cup.

"Indeed it will be the exact opposite" Reborn snorted at the a sense of deja vu as he remembered Cavallone in his future experience with teaching a certain 'carnivore' would also result in similar situation namely: Cavallone being chased by a carnivore again.

_'No. Dino. Nothing would change at all...'_

Ending Credits

"This Episode was sponsored by Pudding Cups much better then Jello could ever be" Reborn holding up a pudding cup while behind him Cavallone family assembled and bowed simultaneously.

"Thank you for reading Reborn as Reborn!"

"Oh and give Hugs to Dino" chorused the three maids as in the background said Cavallone huddled in the corner.

"He's only ...and yet had such scaring experience and yet it must continue for his sake and ours" explained the butler wiping a tear from his eye with a handkerchief

Dino pale faced was muttering hoarsely "Trust me you don't you even want to know what is in jello..."

"I think they were referring to Reborn" Romario said sweat dropping nearby.


	3. Always be Alert!

Victim 2: The Clumsy Cavallone

Lesson 2: Always be Alert!

Any kid will run an errand for you if you ask at bedtime. -Red Skelton

It was the end of another long day of hijinks. One where Reborn's tests on Dino's resolve to be a mafia boss finally ended to Dino's relief. He was so sore and tired all over. He had a multitude of scrapes and small cuts, and he believed even his bruises had bruises!

However, rest would not come easy that night for the young master of the Cavallone Mafia family.

"Eh, why are you in my bedroom!?" Dino cried, surprised at seeing the shadow of a small figure perched atop the bed canopy. "and on top of it too!"

"It's bigger and nicer than mine. Plus, the canopy is fun to jump on"

Reborn demonstrated by bouncing on Dino's bed canopy like a trampoline. The whole bed began to rock to Dino's terror. He thought the canopy might rip and the whole thing would come crashing down. After all, wherever Reborn was chaos wasn't far behind.

"Ack Stop! Stop!" he panicked. Surprisingly, Reborn jumped down as requested and instead sat on Dino's bed cross-legged.

"You listened?" voiced Dino in shock.

"It's around my bedtime," said Reborn looking at the antique clock on the wall before settling himself into Dino's bed and pulling up the covers. "Now tell me an awesome bedtime story."

"Okay" groaned Dino finding it easier to agree to Reborn training technique. He then startled at the strange request "Wait what?! Read a bedtime story?"

"Now." Threatened Reborn reaching for Leon and Dino sweating bullets quickly began his -it better be awesome or else- story. Reborn may have been a baby, but he had a scarily strong kick and terrific aim.

Finally, after several minutes of long and awesome storytelling complete with sound effects Reborn was finally asleep.

Dino was rather surprised at how fast Reborn fell asleep He was also a bit disappointed he didn't get to finish his story. He was getting rather into it. Actually, the more he started to think about it, he was a rather good story writer.

Already, he had introduced the main cast. There was the swearing bomb enthusiastic lion, a violent territorial tin man without a heart, and at brainless, baseball-obsessed scarecrow. Not to mention the main character the homesick, nervous, and clumsy Tuna trying to meet the great (sadistic and eccentric) Reborn Wizard to bring her home.

"Don't run away..."

Dino was startled from his thoughts. He looked around the room before realizing it was Reborn sleep talking.

He scrutinized the peacefully sleeping baby reborn. His heart couldn't help but soften just a bit as it did around civilians. 'It was weird that no matter how cruel and crazy was Reborn sometimes he still acted and looked like an innocent kid' He mused.

'No he is still a kid isn't he?' rethought Dino as he felt the a bit bad for Reborn.

'I should probably move him to his own room or I might roll over him in my sleep' Dino thought. So being the nice guy he was, Dino shifted to pick up Reborn.

"Don't run..." repeated Reborn before yelling out "Or I'll shoot!"

*WHAM*

Reborn kicked Dino hard. In the place where Dino was sure to feel the utmost pain. Dino opened his mouth to curse but held back afraid what Reborn would do if awake.

' If Reborn's kicks were that bad asleep if he was awake...' Dino shivered to think of it. And he had to be stuck with him for at least another year...Dino wanted to cry except it would wake Reborn up.

He took it back. 'Reborn couldn't be a kid. Kids were innocent and Reborn was-'

"You got to try harder than that cowardly Cavallone" mumbled Reborn as Dino froze in fright. He relaxed after seeing as Reborn's spit bubble was still growing and shrinking. He was still asleep.

'Reborn was pure evil incarnate.' Dino concluded and he still had no idea what to do now that Reborn would kick him if he tried to move him.

There was just no way of winning with Reborn was there?

* * *

Next up: Which Weapon to Wield?

Sneak peeks through Character's Conversations

Dino: Reborn, if I want to protect my family don't I need to learn to use a weapon!?

Reborn: Good to see you want to get somewhere Dino. Guess you're not a dumbo Dino as I thought.

Dino: When did you start calling me Dumbo Dino?!O_O

It was in my head. However since it no longer applies I guess I have to come up with another.

Dino: Please don't...T0T and back to the main topic So what weapon do I get? A gun a sword?

Reborn: *smirks* You can get the weapon that you can get yourself.

Dino: EH? What do you mean by that?

Reborn: You'll see...^_^

Dino: I don't like the sound of that! oAo


	4. Which Weapon to Wield?

A/N: Sorry I've been gone so long. I've had trouble writing recently but I'm back!

I started calling this child Reborn Neo-Reborn to distinguish from the actual both have similar sadistic training methods except I'm sure actual Reborn has adult ulterior motives that Neo-Reborn doesn't have since he's just having fun as a kid. In the cruel yet innocent way, only kids know how~

* * *

Victim 2: Clumsy Cavallonne

Lesson 4: Which Weapon to Wield?

When you want to stay home from school, you have to stay in the bathroom a long, long time.-Joseph, age 11

The boy turned hitman baby rather liked his new life and identity as the strongest hitman Reborn. However, the most boring part was the mornings when there was paperwork Dino was forced to do.

"Urgh" moaned the soon to be a mafia boss, Dino Cavallone. Dino was bent over intense concentration struggling with the pile of paperwork he was forced to do.

"Work faster or I'll shoot" warned Reborn. While it was fun to force other people to do homework and not himself for a change. However, he wanted to go outside not cooped up inside the mansion.

Reborn's mind began to wander after being bored by now oh so predictable reactions of his student and how long he was taking to finish. He mused first on how awesome he was as Reborn then realized 'I'm in Reborn's body but Reborn isn't me. So then who am I?'He briefly pondered this sudden identity crisis.

Then he quickly came to an answer with the simplicity of the child he was. 'Hmmm, I know I'll call myself ...Neo Reborn!

'Neo Reborn.' He quite liked the sound of that. He made a mental note to get people to call then that when he took over the world. A smug smile spread across his face as Dino watched in apprehension knowing it was nothing good it being Reborn.

"What are you looking at dumbo Dino get back to work." threatened Reborn who pulled out Leon and transformed the lizard into a gun.

"Eek! Will do" cried a frightened Dino who was now working furiously under the pressure of Reborn's beady-eyed gaze. Oh and his gun. It was usually the gun.

-Skip to the Afternoon Lesson-

In the afternoon, Reborn was sitting in the shade and enjoying some juice handed to him by a servant. (On a side note: The Cavallone servants were an awesome bonus. Reborn was going to miss the lap of luxury.)

Meanwhile, Dino was in the pool.

With a shark.

"AAAACCK Is this even legal!?" Dino screamed In the background while balancing a pail of water on his head, and on top of a piece of board laid across the pool. Below him, a shark was snapping at his heels.

"We're the mafia" scoffed Reborn while rolling his eyes and casually sipping his juice. He was as usual perfectly content in contrast to Dino's panicked state.

"Still! This is-" protested Dino then paled as Reborn withdrew his gun having decided to ramp up the difficulty of the exercise.

"BANG* then shot because Dino really needed to work on his coordination and dodging skills. He was pretty pathetic without his babysitters.

Typically and unfortunately, for Dino, he lost his balance on the board. The two pails of water he was holding came crashing down on him. He toppled into the pool where the shark lay wait.

"AHH, I going to die!"

"Then if you fall you fight it" exclaimed Neo-Reborn which for him seemed to be the answer to everything

"How do you expect me to fight it!? I don't have anything to fight with" Dino asked without thinking before snapping his mouth shut. He was sure he was about to be made to do jumping jacks to avoid Reborn bullets but luckily that didn't seem to be the case.

"Hmm, that's true. I guess we'll have to take car of that before you can be of any use" Reborn said casually thinking. He thought 'It was high time Dino actually learned to master something. Plus it was getting rather bored of Dino doing poorly executed but entertaining feats of acrobatics (Aka dodging)'

"You will?!" stuttered Dino partially from cold, surprise, and fear. The shark in the pool was still eyeing him hungrily and trying to jump up and snatch him from Reborn's net.

Once safely settled on the ground the dripping wet and downtrod Dino caught his breath. He then thought hard. 'What would be an awesome and powerful weapon that would turn me into the ultimate mafia boss?'

His mind went the strongest mafia member he knew and his eyes immediately went to Reborn, then to his hands where a certain chameleon was peacefully snoozing.

'Aha! The source of Reborn's power must be Leon!'

"Can I have him?" he asked eagerly pointing at Leon.

"No" firmly said Reborn glaring stonily at the now shaking Dino. 'As if I would give Dino my new (only) best friend. Also being Dino, he would probably end up hurting Leon or (more likely) himself.'

"A weapon doesn't make you strong. You need skill and practice too, even a baby knows that." scolded Reborn as he stuffed Leon in his hat out of sight to the reptile's surprise. Reborn then gestured for Dino to follow him "Follow me!" which Dino did reluctantly.

-Skip to the Creepy Weapon Warehouse in the Woods-

Reborn lead Dino into the warehouse at the edge of the mansion's property where most of the weapons were kept. "Choose one or two weapons as long as you can learn to use it!" casually Reborn swung the door open to a dark room with wooden floors and walls.

"Um, I don't know. Uh, how do I choose?" Dino tentatively put as he carefully stepped into the room. It dark except for one window that let in dust-ridden room was crammed with tons of weapons, neatly stacked on shelves, in drawers, and on walls. They were all organized according to type and size and left hardly any floor space to move.

"How about your weapon will the first on you can hold properly!" proclaimed Reborn dramatically. Dino sweat dropped at what little faith his tutor had of him handling a weapon.

Dino wandered around the room inspecting each weapon carefully. Before two seconds, had passed Dino almost walked into a bear trap. SNAP! "Eek!" He scrambled back and bumped into a shelf full of brass knuckles. Some hit his head and he tripped on trying to avoid them.

"REBORN! What did you do?!" Dino cried out on the ground. He reasonably thought Reborn had led him into some sort of trap.

"Nothing, Now that was all your own fault," said Reborn holding his hands palms up in an 'I'm innocent' gesture.

"You're kidding!" Dino said disbelieving his demon tutor would not set up something like this for him. Dino's tried to get up from the ground and his hand reached pull himself up to regain his balance. That something ended up being a shelf of very sharp knives.

"This warehouse is rather old, though" warned Reborn. He was amused that he didn't even have to move a muscle and his student could get into such trouble all by himself. He could already what was going to happen. The wind whistled as the shelf tipped to one side sending the of throwing knives flying towards Dino. He darted out of the way so they missed him by an inch.

"At least, your reflexes improved enough to come here" commented Reborn. He easily dodged the projectiles and deflected a few with his Leon turned knife. "Though leaving may be hard" Reborn was referring to the warehouse door that had mysteriously shut on it's on during the commotion.

"Urgh!" Dino in dodging had fallen to the ground again and now struggled to pull off whatever it was that was entangling his feet. All the while he was hopping around the room to avoid the knives littered on the ground.

"If you keep this up you might as well be called dead Dino soon" commented Reborn who was perched on an empty shelf. He then paused realizing his pun. "Huh, maybe that why your father named you Dino for dinosaurs since their dead" mused Reborn.

"What. No!" cried Dino offended at the suggestion. He unconsciously pulled hard at the thing constricting his legs and was unknowingly freed. His head also shot up to protest Reborn's accusation. In the process, he banged his head into a stack of armor that tipped and fell on top of him.

"Ouch!" he cried. The helmet had fallen on his head and he was flailing about with the thing he had just freed himself from in his hand.

"A whip? What an unconventional weapon" mused Reborn. Dino peeked hesitantly through the grill of the helmet at said weapon in his hands. He sighed in relief that it wasn't injuring himself as badly as he believed it might.

"Can I change it? I only grabbed It because I tripped" Dino said sheepishly. It was after all this whip that had made him fall in the first place.

"I didn't say it was the bad Dumbo Dino. In fact, it is a good choice!" praised Reborn as he hopped onto an empty crate to be eye level with Dino.

"It is?" Dino raised his head hopefully, thinking that for once Reborn was praising him.

"Yep! It's completely foolproof. You can't impale, cut, maim or accidentally shoot yourself with it" nodded Reborn while smiling. Dino visibly deflated at the not so nice reasons why.

"I can use any of these weapons just fine!" shot back Dino upset. He then paled rapidly as Reborn withdrew Leon from his coat changing it into a gun.

"Okay then if you so confident, show me. It can be standoff!" smiled an excited Neo-Reborn ready to show off his mad skills. He forgot entirely that at that moment Dino had none.

-Later Outside the Warehouse-

Screams courtesy of the only Cavallone heir were heard throughout the Cavallone mansion that day and night. The warehouse rocked and emitted dust clouds from the commotion inside. The staff and mafia subordinates huddled outside.

"The young master is growing up" a butler wiped a tear away with a handkerchief

"He got his first weapon and now fighting for his life like a boss right after!" proudly sniffed one of the triplet maids

"Such a hard trainer that boy is!" praised the chef. He was now determined to bake a cake in celebration of his Dons best efforts to win.

"Reborn's methods are unorthodox but he does knows how to get the job done!" asserted Romario as the rest of the staff nodded in agreement.

* * *

Next up: Lesson 5: A Bit of Biology

Reborn: It's all your fault...your fault Leon is pregnant -_-

Dino: EH I'm a parent? b-but how?

Romario: What this about younger master having a child?! O_O

Dino: I didn't do anything! ToT

Romario: You should take responsibility as a to be a mafia boss! No as a man!

Dino: But-but I'm too young to have a kid! It just isn't possible! QoQ

A/N Just as a reminder it's still rated K~ However in your minds, I don't even want to know. ;P Just joking of course.


End file.
